Bar approaches are a recipe for rejection and alienation, which in turn will increase your self doubt and niggling worry. I think you’ll have a lot more success with dating if you think about it a little more astutely. There’s no magic trick to becoming confident except for working at it and knowing your own self-worth. The more you do this, the better you will get at it. Know what you’re good at and make it work for you. If you find a topic interesting, find a like-minded soul who would like to talk about it. If you’re thoughtful, try to show them this consideration. If you’re funny, try and make people laugh. Once you are being friendly, warm, kind and respecting people’s boundaries, lots of people will want to speak to you – and date you too! Play to your strengths. Part of it may be explained by the high stakes manner in which you’re choosing to approach people, but these anxious feelings probably mostly come from within.Ĭonfidence is attractive – and the good thing is that you can learn it. To be honest, I think this is the more pertinent problem. Secondly, there’s the issue of what you describe as “fear and self doubt”. If you even get a vague hint of disinterest or awkwardness, abandon ship. At least you will have some more grounding with these people, or in the cases of OKCupid or Tinder, you’ll know for sure that they are definitely in the market for being approached by you.Īs for knowing when or how to approach a stranger? To be honest, I’d give it one friendly remark and then immediately tap out depending on the response. ![]() Try some lower-impact ways of approaching people – such as online dating, hobbies and activities or mutual friends. If striking up a conversation with people on nights out is your primary mode of seeking dates or relationships, I imagine you must be coming up against some serious knock-backs. ![]() Depending on the places you’re frequenting, people may just be there to have fun with their friends and won’t welcome any approach from a stranger. Generally, this is going to be one of the most challenging ways to get a date with an attractive stranger. ![]() Firstly, how to gauge the reactions of the opposite sex when you meet them in bars, clubs or parties.
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